Killing the Boy Within Me


Once upon a time, I was a toddler who was taken to a Sunday school class so that I could be a better citizen and more responsible for myself and family. There our devoted teachers would sing and sing us to sleep until they lose their sweet voices. And soon enough, I became a teenager who would willingly go early for my Godly tutorial in the   church. These were years when my conscience was clear without blemish of evil I have known and see around me. These were my innocent years until I became an adult just like every other an on earth. I soon found myself experimenting with all those things that Sunday school classes told us never to do.  I neglected their warning to flee from the devil and sold my soul to the devil without a price. And then I lost my conscience to the things I was involved in just like others have done, are doing and would still do.

In my unbelief, I become an unbeliever and in my belief, I became an unbeliever because I was stoned to the wall with realities that I couldn’t deny. I was meant to believe that God’s power is the power above every other power on earth, in heaven and hell. Then I saw evil at work and I began to lose my faith. I saw people pray to be delivered from these evils and end up six feet below the ground and I lose faith the more. The most painful thing was I began to believe in the power of these evils when I knew that they were powerless even though they are powerful. Imagine the irony of my situation. Then life took another meaning when it began to dish me meals that were only meant for those that would survive the challenges.

And today, I realize that I have lost all that magic and excitement that I once had because I was following my shadows instead of who I should be and it dawned on me that I should look for the boy within me; the boy that  I have abandoned in the cold. I suddenly realized that I have killed that innocent child within me in cold blood without a care. I wept for days until I found the courage to dig out the bones of that boy within me. I pick the frail boys and breathed life into it and it began to rattle back to life. With time I got my dead boy within me back to life and I started a new life that I once missed. Unfortunately, most of us would never resurrect the boys within us. I am not saying that I had let go of all evil neither am I going to  be called a saint because I have lost that innocence many years ago the ugly truth is that had it been that  we have hugged those little boys tightly to us, there would no strife and evil in this world. The words like kidnapping, stealing, dictatorship, corruption, greed, taboo, social unrest, war and so many of these evils tormenting us in this life would never be heard among us because they are not pretty words.


Boys play hide and seek with water guns that sprinkle clean water on each other but when we kill these boys within us, we shoot innocent children and women with sophisticated war machines in the name of different conflicts or struggles or even madness. This is a call that would resurrect every dead boy within us so that we can make this world a prettier place.    It starts with a determination and then a remorse spirit in compensating this life for all our greed, cheats, unforgiveness, malice, disobedient, evil thoughts and all the wrongs we are doing to this life with good works and a heart to make this life more beautiful.


One thought on “Killing the Boy Within Me

  1. Pingback: Killing the Boy Within Me « queensklass

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